I Don’t Believe in Laziness

Jun 30

What Does It Really Mean When You Call Yourself Lazy?

Have you ever called yourself lazy?

Maybe you stared down a pile of dishes in your sink, decided to scroll on social media instead of washing them, and said, “I’m being so lazy.”

Maybe you set a resolution to start working out, and now a month later, without a workout on record, you say to yourself, “I can’t believe how lazy I am.”

The actual definition of lazy, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, is “disinclined to activity or exertion.”

But instead of interpreting this definition as a temporary state or feeling, most of us interpret it as an overarching personality label, one that judges, criticizes, and only makes you feel more paralyzed and shut down.

In reality, the label of laziness is just the tip of the iceberg.

Typically, the bottom of the iceberg involves feelings, thoughts, and experiences that make it difficult to do the things that you want or need to do.

Why You Might Be Feeling “Lazy”

So if laziness isn’t the whole story, then what’s really going on underneath?

Usually it’s things like:

Burnout
Physical exhaustion
Mental / emotional fatigue
Boredom
Overstimulation
High expectations

Example #1 - When Every Day Tasks Feel Overwhelming

Let’s use the first two examples I mentioned, the first one being scrolling on social media instead of doing the dishes.

What if I asked you what you were feeling at that moment, aside from being lazy or unmotivated?

If you’re physically tired, then doing the dishes might feel easier after taking a nap. That’s not a personality trait - it’s an inherent biological need for rest.

If you’re already overstimulated, scrolling on social media will likely make you feel even more shut down. Doing the dishes might feel easier after taking a ten minute walk out in nature, completely disconnected from the internet.

And if you’re burned out, then taking some things off your plate might be necessary before doing the dishes feels manageable.

None of these mean that you as a person are inherently lazy. It means that you have feelings and needs that have to be addressed and met before it feels possible to engage in certain behaviors.

Example #2 - Why Setting Unrealistic Goals Can Contribute to Feeling Lazy

Let’s also go back to the exercise example, where you set a resolution to exercise five days a week, and now two months later, haven’t done a single workout.

If you’re physically exhausted, then your exercise goal probably isn’t realistic. That’s not laziness - that’s your body trying to tell you that you set an inappropriate goal for yourself.

Or if you weren’t working out at all before, the goal to exercise for five days a week is likely going to feel paralyzing. Starting with one day a week for a month might feel much more manageable.

How Practicing Self-Compassion Can Help

There’s a myth out there that we need to be hard on ourselves and push ourselves to get things done. But it’s actually the opposite - the kinder we are to ourselves, and the more we tend to our feelings and needs, the easier life feels.

Being kind to ourselves doesn’t mean engaging in toxic positivity or avoidance - it just means taking the time and space to actually take care of ourselves, which in turn makes it easier to show up for the responsibilities of day to day life.

You’re Not Lazy - You’re Human

Maybe there are truly lazy people out there, but as of today, I still haven’t met one.

The people I have met are burned out, exhausted, perfectionistic, and harder on themselves than they need to be. And when they work on giving themselves permission to actually rest and lower the bar, tasks that used to feel like climbing Mount Everest feel much more easeful.