What’s Keeping You Stuck Isn’t What You Think
What is Scarcity Mindset, and Why It’s Hard to Spot
Scarcity mindset is one of those things that can slowly creep up on you, which means that you might not always realize how much it’s impacting your thoughts and feelings.
It can show up in all areas of your life:
Maybe you’ve gone on one too many bad dates and feel like the possibility of ever meeting someone fantastic, let alone decent, is close to zero.
Or maybe you’re in the process of buying a house, and it feels like you have to snatch up the first home that feels good enough, out of fear that something better won’t come along.
Or maybe you hate your job, but you fear that this is as good as it gets - if you leave, you’ll be even worse off.
Scarcity mindset tells us that what we’re thinking is absolute truth or fact. But as the name implies, scarcity mindset is just that - a mindset, which can be changed.
Why Scarcity Mindset Shows Up in Your Life
Scarcity mindset shows up for a whole host of reasons:
Our brains are wired with a negativity bias, which means that it’s much easier to scan for the negative than the positive. Although this serves us well in certain areas, such as noticing potential threats in new and unfamiliar areas, it can do us a disservice when we’re not just trying to stay alive, but actually thrive in life. And if you’re a person prone to anxiety, this tendency can be amplified even further.
If you grew up with limited resources or your family struggled financially, you might have learned the hardships of living in true scarcity. When you’ve experienced certain realities, it can make it even harder to believe that there might be more for you out there.
Low self-esteem can make you believe that even if good things are out there, that you don’t deserve them. That anything good out there will go to people who you think are better than you. Social media can make this even worse - you see others getting married, buying homes, going on amazing vacations - and you assume that something must be wrong with you for not having those things yourself.
And finally, even though you might desperately want the amazing relationship, job, house, etc., change is also scary and can hold you back from taking steps forward. You convince yourself that the thing you want won’t actually be that great, and that it’s not worth the risk to go after it.
Shifting from Scarcity to Possibility
So how do you deal with scarcity mindset?
The first step is to recognize it for what it is.
Scarcity mindset likes you to believe that what it’s telling you is the truth, so you need to call it out and name it. Scarcity mindset is a belief that there isn’t enough out there - whether it be partners, homes, jobs, etc. - for you to have what you want.
The second step is to set yourself up for success in finding what you want.
If you’re struggling to find a romantic partner, really take your time to pause and take it in when you notice someone you’re attracted to, or when you receive a thoughtful message. Stop giving so much mental room and attention to the people who clearly aren’t a fit, and create space for those people who are.
If you’re looking for a home, find a realtor who can do the work for you of finding homes that meet your criteria. Spend less time on Zillow, where many homes aren’t even posted before being purchased, and create a process where you’re presented with options that you feel good about.
And if you’re looking for a job, notice which job descriptions light you up. Pay attention to the ones where you go, “Oooh, that sounds interesting.” Actively scan for the things that remind you that there are job positions out there that can bring you joy.
If scarcity mindset has been a struggle for you, I’m happy to help. Feel free to reach out at any point to schedule an appointment.
Hi, I’m Amanda. I’m a psychologist in Bloomington, Indiana providing online counseling and therapy services to professionals navigating life transitions. Please reach out if you have any questions or would like to schedule an appointment.
