5 Practical Ways to Make Friends as an Adult
Making friends as an adult can often feel like an impossible task. First there’s the issue of where to meet people. When you’re not in close proximity to others on a regular basis, like you are in school, it leaves the question as to where to even go to form new connections.
Second, if you’re already feeling busy with the day-to-day responsibilities that come with work, parenting, and household tasks, trying to form friendships can feel overwhelming and quickly fall to the bottom of the priority list.
Although forming friendships as an adult can feel challenging, it doesn’t have to be as complicated as we sometimes make it.
And there’s also the added benefit that as adults, we get to be very intentional and particular about who we form connections with, making sure that our precious time and energy only goes to those relationships that feel meaningful and fulfilling.
Here are my top strategies for making friends as an adult:
Take Advantage of Opportune Moments to Meet New People.
There are times when we naturally have opportunities to form new connections or talk with new people. Maybe you end up having a pleasant conversation with the person sitting next to you at a work conference, or another parent who you run into during your kid’s school pickup time. If you genuinely enjoy an interaction with someone, ask them to connect further.
Say something like, “I’ve really enjoyed chatting with you. Would you be interested in grabbing coffee sometime and talking further?” Forming connections in this way eliminates the time and energy that goes into finding people to connect with, and allows friendships to form in a way that feels natural.
Don’t Rule Out Colleagues As Potential Friends.
People sometimes assume that they can’t be friends with people they work with, and yet friendships with colleagues can be incredibly beneficial. When you have someone who fully understands the day-to-day stressors of your job, it can provide validation and reduce isolation and loneliness. So if you have a colleague who you already connect well with, ask if they might want to hang outside of work sometime.
If you’re self-employed, reach out by email to others in your community who are in the same field, and ask them if they’d like to grab coffee sometime. Worst case scenario, you do some business networking. Best case-scenario, you form life-long connections with folks in your field.
Join An Activity That YOU Enjoy.
There are so many ways to form connections and to get involved in your community that there’s room to do this in ways that you’ll actually enjoy. So think about what you would have fun doing. It could be joining a pickleball team, volunteering at the local animal shelter, attending a book club, signing up for a dance class, or trying rock climbing.
If you end up hating the activity that you try, you don’t have to keep doing it. Just give yourself credit for trying something new and move on to a different activity. And even if you don’t stick with the activity, you still might form connections with people that you can continue outside of that particular hobby.
Ask Your Existing Network to Introduce You to New People.
Does your romantic partner have friends? If so, ask your partner to set up a double date so that you can get to know that person’s significant other. Or if your friend mentions going to a group gathering, tell them that you’re looking to meet new people and ask if it would be okay and appropriate to tag along at some point in the future. This is another great way of not having to start from scratch.
Use A Friendship App.
Most of us are familiar with dating apps, but there are also apps now for forming friendships. Apps can be great if you feel short on time and the thought of joining a new activity feels daunting and overwhelming. With an app, you know that the people on it are looking for the same thing that you are, and you can jump straight to connecting with those who might be a good fit for you.
Forming friendships as an adult is ultimately a trial and error process. You’ll try things that won’t work, but if you keep putting yourself out there, you’ll eventually find people you connect with.
If building connections has been a struggle for you and you would like the help of a therapist, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m happy to help.
Hi, I’m Amanda. I’m a psychologist in Bloomington, Indiana providing online counseling and therapy services to professionals navigating life transitions. Please reach out if you have any questions or would like to schedule an appointment.
