I Limited Social Media to Twice a Day: Here’s What Happened

I recently caught myself doing something that I’m constantly telling clients NOT to do, which is checking social media apps on an all too regular basis. 

I only have two apps that I check - Facebook and Instagram - but even then, the amount that I was checking them was becoming absurd. 

I got into a particularly bad habit of checking during ad breaks while watching TV on Hulu. And if you have Hulu, you know that those ad breaks happen like every five freaking minutes, which means that I was checking the apps every five freaking minutes.

And not surprisingly, I noticed that I was tense. Stressed. Wired. My nervous system felt like it was on edge all the time, and I had a really hard time getting my body to unwind at the end of the day. I have a Fitbit that tracks my heart rate, and my heart rate was staying notably high in the evenings. My body was sending loud signals that something wasn’t working.

So I decided to do a little experiment and set fairly strict limits around my social media usage. I gave myself the rule that I was allowed to check Facebook and Instagram twice per day - once in the morning, and once around dinner time. And that was it. No more checking between client sessions, during ad breaks, or when I found myself unsure of how to spend my time. I also wasn’t allowed to endlessly scroll. I could check posts and reels by friends and people I follow, but I had to stop when my feed went beyond that. 

And the results were fascinating. 

Why We Get Stuck in Bad Social Media Habits

But before sharing what I found, I want to talk a little about why so many of us fall into these habits. I mean, I teach this stuff on a daily basis, and yet still found myself falling into the same patterns that I see my clients falling into. Why is it so easy to fall into bad habits when it comes to social media?

1. Social media is incredibly easy to access.

   It literally takes a second to open up an app. It’s super passive and requires so little of us in regards to active thought or effort. If we’re feeling tired, bored, or stressed, it can feel way easier in the moment to hop on an app than to take the time and intentionality to sit with our feelings and decide what’s actually going to help us cope with our feelings.

2. Social media uses random reinforcement. 

   Social media apps operate on random reinforcement, which is the most effective and powerful form of reinforcement there is. If you’re not familiar with the concept, imagine a mouse in a box with a little lever. When the mouse presses the lever, sometimes it receives a piece of food and sometimes it doesn’t. When those conditions are met, that mouse will hit the lever even more often than when the lever is consistently paired with food. 

   Social media is no different. Sometimes we hop on to the apps and we’re met with likes on our posts, thoughtful comments from friends, or adorable dog videos. Other times, we’re faced with horrific news stories, the feelings of shame that come from comparing ourselves to others, and the experience of FOMO. It’s random reinforcement at its finest, rewarding us with regular dopamine hits and keeping us hooked.

3. Social media has become a one-stop, go-to source of news, connection, and entertainment. 

   Prior to social media, we had to go to different places for each of those - TV and newspapers to receive our news, phone calls, texting / messaging, and in-person meetups for connection, and TV and in-person venues for entertainment. Now we can find all of those in one easy place, making it feel like we’re missing out if we’re not constantly engaging.

The truth is that social media usage doesn’t have to be inherently bad, and if you use it in an intentional, thoughtful, and limited manner, it can be a wonderful resource and tool for entertainment, information, and connection. 

However, the apps are designed in a way that makes healthy use feel like an uphill battle. Instead, their design makes it all too easy to engage with them on autopilot, where we become unaware of why we’re even on them and how they're impacting us, which ultimately contributes to worsened mental health, isolation, and disconnection.

So going back to my little experiment - what happened when I brought thoughtfulness, intentionality, and limits to my social media usage?

Benefits I Noticed From Reducing Social Media

1. More white space.

   When I wasn’t constantly being bombarded with new information and stimulation to process, I had much more mental space to think about things actually happening in my real life. My brain felt slower and quieter, a lovely reprieve from the feeling of it constantly running at 90 miles an hour.

2. Better memory and efficiency.

   My memory has never been terrible, but I found myself remembering small things much more easily, like when I needed to replace the soap in my shower, or purchase those HVAC filters that I had run out of. To-do list items felt more easily accessible, and I also completed tasks more quickly.

3. More time in my day.

   The total time I was spending on social media wasn’t adding up to a ton of time, but as a sensitive person, I didn’t think about the time that I was then taking to process everything that I was seeing online, or drafting responses to posts or comments that felt important to respond to. With less time on social media, it freed up time for me to put towards other areas of my life that felt more important to me.

4. Easier disconnection from stressors.

   When I was checking social media all the time, there was a feeling that everything was coming AT me. Kind of like a game of dodgeball where you’re just doing your best not to get hit by the balls getting thrown your way. With less time on social media, it felt more like having a bubble around me. I could still see the things getting thrown my way, but there was a protective barrier around me, allowing me to actually relax, knowing that they weren’t going to knock me down, and I could tend to them when I wanted and needed to.

5. A noticeable boost in happiness.

   This one actually surprised me the most, even though I’m fully aware of the research linking social media to lower mood. Because I don’t think I fully realized just HOW much of a difference it was going to make. It was easier to tune into the small joys in life, like listening to music I really enjoy while putting laundry away, or walking my dog in the crisp fall weather, or the peace and quiet of my home. It made me more aware of how much sadness and distress I’m exposed to on social media, and what a difference it makes when this exposure is more contained.

6. Stronger connections with others.

   With my nervous system feeling less fried, it was easier to stay present with others, tune out the noise of the world, and genuinely enjoy time with the people I care about in my life. I also had more energy to give to these interactions, versus feeling as if I was trying to push through due to exhaustion.

7. A calmer nervous system.

   I felt wired much less often, and when I did feel on edge, it was much easier to come down from that feeling. My heart rate went down more easily in the evenings before bed. I felt calmer and less tense.

8. Less overwhelm.

   I still saw everything I wanted and needed to see during my two windows in which I was allowed to check the apps, and in a relatively short period of time at that. But when it was contained in that way, it felt much less overwhelming compared to when my nervous system was being hit with it every five minutes.

Finding a Sustainable Relationship With Social Media

What I also found particularly notable about this experiment was that I didn’t give up social media entirely. I didn’t have to cut it out of my life completely to see SIGNIFICANT benefits. What it did require was decreasing the amount of time that I was spending on it, and being incredibly intentional and thoughtful about when / how often I was checking. 

I’m still continuing this experiment, and it doesn’t always feel easy, nor has it been a perfect process by any means - there are still so many times when I pick up the phone on autopilot to check and have to remind myself that that’s not what we’re doing anymore. And there have definitely been times where I’ve broken the rules for myself, which often happens when I’m out of my routine.

But experiencing all of the payoffs has made it feel worth it to continue this as a practice, which is ultimately the goal - finding a relationship with social media that’s sustainable for my well-being in the long-term.

If you’re struggling with your social media use and are looking for the help of a therapist, please feel free to reach out - I’m happy to help.

Hi, I’m Amanda. I’m a psychologist in Bloomington, Indiana providing online counseling and therapy services to professionals navigating life transitions. Please reach out if you have any questions or would like to schedule an appointment.